February 14.

Dear Mr. Valentine, After much deliberation, our association has decided that we need to write you this letter as the “celebration” of your death torments us every year. For us ASCAW (Association of Side Chicks Around the World), February 14 is marked as a “black day”. Nothing good ever happens that day…well, except the fact … Continue reading

Sub City.

SUB CITY. Try pronouncing this with an American accent…what is your answer? Yeah! That’s what I want to blog about. *strips naked and carries placard to Aso Rock*. A debate that aired yesterday caused some sort of uproar on twitter and words like abroad, chance, corrupt, patient and subsidy were used a lot. I won’t … Continue reading

The Short Story.

Click. That was the imaginary sound he heard in his head whenever he centralized his butt on the toilet seat. The click sound was produced because his anus was directly pointing to the center of the toilet bowl such that if there was a dart board in the bowl and he poo’ed, the poo wouldn’t … Continue reading

Sigh

This is a very impromptu post. I just had to write something. 2011 has been a generally bleh year for me…the type that you just want to roll by quickly so that you would feel the ‘fresh air’ you feel the next year would bring. One of the reasons I really am not as excited … Continue reading

Miss Influenza

I am sick. Ok…scratch that…I’m not sick, I have cattarh. I’m not like those oyinbos that would stay indoors because they have “the flu”…they will now lie in bed with their red faces like its more than cattarh. NO!!!! In my house, you are only sick when you have malaria. That’s it!!! You can’t stay … Continue reading

Did you know these?

*in E! Voice* Here are the 10 things you did not know about me…Sit (stand) back, relax & read…. 1. I “auto-weaned” myself when I was 6 months old. Yes, I’m bad ass like that. I was tired of the breast secretion (ewwww) & stopped taking it. For this reason, I was transferred to my … Continue reading

The Tale of The Headless Chicken.

Hello… This is not one of those folklore stories you (razz) people used to gather around to listen to, sorry to disappoint you. I’ve always been dreaming of writing a “tale” because it sounds like what them intelligent people write so, here we are…:D Mid last week while I was taking a break from blackberry … Continue reading

H. E. L. L. O.

Hello. I’m not even going to make any excuses for not being here all these while. I basically had (and probably still have) a major case of brain block. My days all look alike…you know same shit, different toilets. I feel everyday is a thursday, being that thursdays are usually my “middle” & indifferent days…I’m … Continue reading

What if?

“I….will…destroy….your….fa….”, I said inbetween moans as he bit my ear. Gosh! How did he know that would turn me on? I opened my eyes to look at his face-expressionless. “Fu-ck-ing ba-stard”, I heard my self breathe the words slowly as I led him into my office. Deola, be focused! You hate this guy’s father. Does … Continue reading

BONA

This is my first post since my phone crashed…something about my last post. What have you guys been doing to each other? Pless is different from Press…u know that thing you learnt in primary school called A B C…? Yeah, one has an ‘L’ and the other an ‘R’. To the real issue… I opened … Continue reading