The Short Story.


That was the imaginary sound he heard in his head whenever he centralized his butt on the toilet seat. The click sound was produced because his anus was directly pointing to the center of the toilet bowl such that if there was a dart board in the bowl and he poo’ed, the poo wouldn’t miss the centre of the board.

Jergens cream.

The picture.

The cup.

He brought out his penis and had a deep breath. He was not in the mood but he had to. Everything was perfect and would be easier with the picture….her picture.

He gently squeezed out the milky white cream out of the container and into his palm. He rubbed both palms together and gently placed them on his phallus. The contrast of the temperature of his palms against the warmth of his penis, gave him the first vasodilatation…little ‘he’ jerked!

He got the rhythm and his hands kept doing the work…they were adapted to this. He didn’t need the picture anyway, he had a mental one. Everything was going well…he shut his eyes tighter.

Oh! Crap! The harmattan…the cream dried faster, he kept having to stop for some more cream so he would overcome the friction.

“Thank God say madam just buy this cream”

Just like everytime he came, he squeezed his toes and held his breath. The early sperm shot out and he quickly knelt down so he came directly into the cup. He needed just a little anyway.


“Andrew, is the rice done?”, Madam entered with her shoes in hand.

“E don nearly do, ma”

“Why does my cream smell over?’, she half-said to herself.

He added the sperm to the boiling rice and rinsed the cup. He went to his room and gently put the cup where it always is.

“You no go chop?”, Madam asked her househelp.

“I don full, na only your own I cook”, he replied, “Mary don dey with mama?”

“Yes, and I wan rest. Oga dey come tomorrow”, she stood up, leaving the empty plate of rice on the stool.

“Ok ma”, he smelled her chair and took the plate to the kitchen.


Not only will you lose your job, you will also go to jail“, Andrew remembered the exact words of his friend, their neighbour’s houseboy, when he told him he was attracted and wanted to sleep with his madam.

Andrew needed his salary.

That act was the least he could do.




5 Responses to “The Short Story.”
  1. choi! from now on, i no go ever chop buka rice

  2. @Frankices says:

    Wat the….?! •_• *pukes uncontrollably* •_• U hav destroyed white rice for me. WHY??? >_<

  3. highlandblue says:

    How did you know so much about masturbation? I was schooled by this. Ah

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