Dear Diary: My Confession (Part 3)

Standard · Posted by adeolaaa on October 5, 2011 · 49 Comments 

We moved to a new 2-bedroom apartment about 3 months after Honorable first bought corn from us. He & Mama became good friends and he came to our house a lot, and at any time too. Afterall, he paid for the apartment.

One day, Mama told me Honorable was coming to visit us but she had to go out. She added that I should be nice to him. I wondered why mama said this; I was always nice to him.

Like he always did, he knocked once and opened the door immediately. He had a habit of not waiting to get any response. He looked different that night; it was the first time I would see him in a shirt and pair of pants. The trousers were too tight, so tight I feared it would rip open when he sat down.

I knelt down to greet him but he pulled me up and pinched my nipple. I was too startled to feel the pain of my still budding breasts. What was he up to? I needed mama to come home now.

“Has your mother told you to co-operate?”, he said, while he wriggled his hips to free the choked penis in his pants.

I made to the door, but he pulled me back with the hem of my skirt. I started crying. He mumbled something about not having time for rubbish and brought his cell phone out to make a call.

I was relieved when he said “Hello Mama Ori“. Finally, my mother to the rescue. She was going to make sure he never came to visit us again. I trusted her.

He handed the phone over to me and before I could say Mama, I heard “Ori, if you know you are my daughter, please do what he wants” from the other end of the call.

When did Mama start calling me Ori? She had never called me that name before. I hated Ori more than Orimisan. Again, why did she not allow me talk before she ended the call? Was Mama OK? Maybe Mama had been kidnapped and “co-operating” with Honorable was the only way she would be released. These were my thoughts.

Honorable moved closer to me and told me to take off my clothes.

Why wasn’t I crying?, I thought, but then I tasted the warm salty fluid on my lips. I ran to the door and shook it so hard. He let me try. He had locked the door.

“Ori, take off your clothes”.

“Please….please sir”, the tear flowed effortlessly.

“I won’t hurt you. You won’t suffer again too. I’ll take care of you and your mother”

His cold eyes stared at me. He looked straight into my eyes and shed his clothes like a professional stripper. Only thing was his body was a curse to the stripping occupation. His boxers band was perfectly made invisible by the large tummy. I wondered how his legs could withstand the weight of his upper body.

Trunkal obesity.

He moved closer and removed my clothes. I stood there with my lower jaw shaking like the tyres of a keke napep plying a bad road.

He pinched both nipples and sucked on them.

I sucked on my tears.

He hurriedly removed his boxers and put me on our sofa.

If only he would stop perspiring and shaking like a dog on heat. By this time, I stopped feeling anything. Not even the pain that came with chewing a nipple like a nervous student chews on the cover of his eleganza biro.

The next time I felt anything was when he penetrated me. I felt the pain in my head, through my ears. I grabbed my head with both hands and covered my ears. I felt a massive headache. The tear flow resumed. I turned my head to the side; I couldn’t bear to watch him ride me. As far as I was concerned, this wasn’t me. I would soon wake up and narrate my dream to Mama.

My dream was interrupted by the sound that I thought came from a tap “coughing” to bring out water. But we didn’t have a tap. I opened my eyes and saw Honorable with his eyes closed and body twitching. The sound came from him.

He dressed up faster than he ejaculated.

“Clean the blood. You are a good girl”, he said as he struggled to close the last 3 buttons on his shirt distributed over his abdomen.

I sat up and watched him leave. He got to the door and said “Ori, I will see your mother”.

Ori again.

Tears.

I got up to have my bath and clean the circular patch of blood on our cream coloured 3-sitter sofa. I was still in the bathroom when I heard Mama call my name. I didn’t answer her.

I met her on my bed with two packs of 500 naira notes beside her.

“Sit down”, she patted the money beside her.

I quietly sat on the opposite side of the bed, far from my mother and the money.

“I would have done it but he didn’t want me. He said I’m too old and you can agree with that too. He needed someone young and wanted you”.

“Mama…how could you do this to me, your only daughter, because of money?”

“Shut up, you bastard”, Mama screamed, “I suffered throughout my life for you and you are questioning me?”

“I cannot do this Mama”

I broke down into tears.

“Yes, you will. Till we have enough money to send you to school and take care of us. He can’t do that for free again. He would come to visit you once a week. You are not going to be useless”. Mama walked out of the room.

I “serviced” Honorable every week for the next 4 months, except when I was on my period and I had to show the evidence of a stained pad to him. Ridiculous. I hated him. I hated the sofa. I hated our comfort.

Mama finally put on weight but not with my “cake fat”.

She came home one day and told me I wouldn’t be seeing Honorable again. I was glad. I didn’t care what went wrong, or right in this case.

“There is this new man I want to introduce you to”, she said.

I turned to look at her face. Emotionless. Mama had become my pimp.

“I don’t want any man again. The money we have is enough”.

“Orimisan, it is not enough until I say so”.

Just like kissing scenes in 24, love was scarce in our household. I was starting to hate mama.

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do not want any man. Use your body too”.

When did Mama’s palms become this soft?, was my thought as the hot slap from her kissed my cheek. Mama got a hotter one from me and she fell down and started gasping.

I knelt over her and called her. I got a faint sound from her. I called Honorable with the phone mummy passed down to me when she got a new one.

Few minutes later, we were in one of the best hospitals in Lagos and the doctor said Mama would be OK.

“What we are treating here is congestive heart failure. We also discovered she is hypertensive. She is having difficulty breathing but she’s been placed on oxygen. She needs to rest”, the doctor told Honorable.

Honorable patted me and said he would come back. He had to get some things done.

“Can I see her?”, I asked the doctor.

He directed me to the room.

“Do not disturb her”

Mama laid there on the bed almost lifeless. A wire from the oxygen tank that stood by was passed into her nose.

I stood over her and called her name. She opened her eyes slightly and closed it again. I did not feel sorry for her.

I removed the wire from her nose. The tank whistled. I watched as Mama struggled for breath and then she stopped. I quietly walked out of the room and out of the hospital.

I packed all the money in Mama’s safe and some of my clothes. I am still on the run, I don’t know where and when I will stop.

My life is about to begin again…without mama.

XOXO

Filed under part 3