The Tale of The Headless Chicken.


This is not one of those folklore stories you (razz) people used to gather around to listen to, sorry to disappoint you. I’ve always been dreaming of writing a “tale” because it sounds like what them intelligent people write so, here we are…:D

Mid last week while I was taking a break from blackberry messenger, twitter, etc…in short, (when) I didn’t renew my BIS not because there’s no money…PAUSE!!! I forgot to ask if you people care sef *sips a cold glass of Maltina*. Back to my tale *pops collar*…

Mid last week (hoping this is the last time I use these words), my mother asked me to kill & prepare a live chicken…NO COMMENTS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! Anywayyyyyy, like the good med student that was present all through her dissection classes that I am, I cut the neck with the sharpest knife in my (mum’s) kitchen with great precision. Mama yopee (that’s what I named my cadaver) would be so proud of me!

My group’s cadaver was indeed tush…tush before we split each part of her body, hence the name. She had a short chain with a cross pendant on & her hair was short but looked retourched. I must confess I used to wonder what happened to her since she didn’t have any visible injury(ies) on her body. I also used to wonder if she didn’t have any relatives that could have claimed her corpse for at least 3 years she spent in the morgue before she was donated to medical research.

I digress…

While it was still struggling for survival, I laid the chicken in the bowl. Before I could finish washing the knife, the chicken tumbled out of the bowl & started rolling around staining everywhere with its clot blood. The chicken was headless and its final death was inevitable but it still struggled for survival. I started to relate this to our lives…how we struggle daily to hold on to the on-the-verge-of-death & timed-out relationships in our lives, while staining every where with blood (literally and figuratively).

Don’t get me wrong please. I believe in hope & trying hard to sustain a relationship. I also believe a successful relationship requires hardwork & compromise from both partners but then I believe some relationships have their elastic limit, after which they are drawn they become useless.

A friend of mine, after several break up’s & make up’s with her boyfriend, finally decided to put an end to the relationship. I was talking to her & she said “I knew right after the first break up that this wasn’t meant to be but I wanted to keep trying. I didn’t want to be alone”. She further added “his parents kept calling for me to get back together with him and after so many years of the sacrifice I put into the relationship, I decided to go back to him even though I knew I could never get the picture of him & my bestie out of my mind”. NO, this is not an American film, neither did I crop the story out of AfMagYoruba *drum roll as I hand over the crappiest station award to them*, it is real. Oh! Did I add she was also beaten? Hell yeah! She was beaten so much her face looked like a piece of bread stained with iodine (if you didn’t get this, please go to your Integrated Science/ Biology teacher & beat him/her to pulp).

How much effort do you pump into a relationship before you can say “it is over”? Why do people keep suffering in relationships, trying to make it work when it is obviously over? Is it the fear of being alone? Or that of how many years you guys have been together? Or what people would think of you? Or maybe its even the parents that keep pressuring you guys?

Another friend to my friend fell into the hands of a serial cheat & egotistic guy. His ego is bigger than that of Kanye West & Ghadaffi put together, the only difference is he’s as broke as Societe Generale Bank. Coupled with the fact that the guy can eat for the whole of Nigeria & diaspora (YES! I finally used this word), he is also someone who experiments all those karma-sutra things. No, I wasn’t there. Yes, I was told. No, not by the girlfriend. Yes, its the truth. The guy, according to reliable sources, prefers to have sex with the girl anywhere but the bed. Like seriously?!?!
Also, after downing 2 packets of big indomie, 2 eggs & 1 orobo coke, Mr LoverBoy sashays to his other girlfriends’ houses to use his almighty phallus to service them. If the girl complains, I heard there’s a timetable of how many slaps & punches she receives for each offence. My source also told me refusal to cook gets 3 hot slaps while refusal to cook on time gets just 2 slaps- 1 hot, 1 cold! Well, they are still together.

You know the awkward moment when you guys get into that big fight & decide to break up & later make up? Yeah, that moment when you start being nice to each other and put on mind not to repeat what caused the initial break-up. Hmmm…well…:x.

I feel we should know what we want but at the same time, not expect perfection (you’re not perfect too duhhh). We should also learn to please ourselves first & then others. Parents & friends shouldn’t influence your relationship, neither should money nor sex. Then, we should be able to face reality when its really over and not be like the headless chicken who knows its death is inevitable but keeps suffering, struggling to survive.

A word is enough for the wise but I gave y’all more than 200 words…the question now is “are you wise?” *dodges missiles* hehehehe.

*cracks chicken bone*


8 Responses to “The Tale of The Headless Chicken.”
  1. cassbaba says:

    Nice post sha, not my cup of tea, seeing as I’m not the ‘relationship type’. Well, you rarely find a member of the male species holding on too a relationship. Any guy that holds on far too long, needs a whack of 2×2 metal rod on the head.

  2. raihanah says:

    People hold on, I think, becos they’ve put in soo much of themselves,of time of energy.. Its almost unimaginable to picture one without the other.. There’s also the fear of having to start a search again.. “The devil you know…..”
    Me I don’t get it sha.. No man pushed thru a vagina will make me cook crap for him,toss me around and still make xperimnt Kama Sutra with him.. Biko,its a lie oh.. If u shout sef e don dey red be that..

    Letting go isn’t always easy..I always pray for strength for somma these girls..and for some I pray for delivarance and that the ‘odoyo’ spirit in them be cleansed out at an ‘orita meta’ naked spiritual bath.. Ehen!!!

  3. Pelumi says:

    Nice post dear n yeah, letting go aint easy..jst d tot of loosing dt special person is alwys h@ wrenching

  4. pelumi says:

    Nice post dear n yeah, letting go aint easy..apart frm d fear of bin alone I think anoda reason most pple struggle to hold on is d fear of starting all over plus d fear of “will I ever find somebody like him/her”

  5. terdoh says:

    My mother worked at SGBN. I take that personal…

  6. jon d don says:


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