Baba Amala…welcome!!!!

I can feel my heart palpitating & my hand pulsating now. If you read this line carefully, you’ll hear my heartbeats. I’m very tired & angry and this is one of the times I wanna live alone…not get married, just freaking live alone!!!!!

My dad travelled with my youngest sibling few days back and they got in not quite long (the time now is 09:39pm). An hour before he came, he asked my sister to call me to make amala for him which I duly made without grumbling. While happily eating my share of the food I prepared, dad & sis got back. Immediately, I went to the kitchen to serve him and the tray almost dropped from my hands when I saw 2 other pairs of eyes staring at me & then, the tray!! Dad had once again come home with friends at dinner time…WTF?!?!

Reluctantly, I greeted them while hoping my other sis had put the wine in the freezer. As I made to call her name, I just heard

“Deola, make amala for these my friends too”

Like seriously?!?! Amala????

I don’t really know when Amala became the SI unit of food for guests for my dad…even the unimportant ones! Amala this, Amala that! What??? And to think I told my mum before she went to work (she’s on night duty) that my scapulo-humeral ligaments would soon tear because of how much swallow I make in this house.

Anyway, I was angry but still made it to the kitchen and made the biggest size of amala just to punish them (cus I knw they wouldn’t wanna waste it). I instructed my sis to serve them & left the kitchen to have a shower when I heard my name…again!!!!!!!

Tada…one of dad’s friends doesn’t take okro…I smiled to myself as I imagined him eating that large plate of amala with water…hahaha! I thought I had my revenge served hot until dad said “make a little efo for him”. Millions of ideas raced through my head…should I overcook it?…or undercook?…not put salt?…put excess?…fart inside it?…a lot of ideas.

If my mum used to make amala like this in their early days, she would have lost one of us! Amala abortion…amala seyun…amalayomi…maybe my name is AmalaDeola…:s

At the end of the day, I left judgement to God while listening to Adele’s songs (afterall, I’m sad). I made the efo & served him while punching him hard in my head. That was how the second friend said “ha Deola, help me put a little efo beside my okro too”..I wanted to die! Who eats efo & okro? Are you some sort of oracle? As in…I turned to look at dad’s face but he glued it to the TV…perfect!!!! Just perfect baba Deola!!! No “thank you”??? *snaps fingers*

One of them later said “ha!!! I don’t know why I like amala this much…*inserts dad’s name* can you believe this is what I ate yesterday night?”…duhhhhh!!!!! I punched him in the stomach (in my head of course…)

I’m so tired now…I wanna go shower & just sleep!!!! I’m going back to that school tomorrow…not even mum’s eyes would stop me. Did I mention they finished that food? As in…what I thought was punishment turned out to be a blessing in disguise for them! *pulls hair out*

As for dad, I’m patiently waiting to see how he will look me in the eyes tomorrow…I’m so gonna dream about amala today!!!


5 Responses to “Baba Amala…welcome!!!!”
  1. Mariam says:

    lol…deola u r nt serious, amala is eaten all over the southwest….expecially in IB, u berra get used to it…u neva can tell if ur :D…………..I really enjoyed this

  2. ruffwise says:

    my oh my…ma ribs r aching from laffin…and 4real – i did actually hear ur heartbeat wen i ws readn dt 1st line…SI units for food, amala abortion…Lmao,nice post dear..*double thumbs up*

  3. terdoh says:

    Still PMS-ing I see…

  4. olajohnson says:

    Tada…one of dad’s friends doesn’t take okro…I smiled to myself as I imagined him eating that large plate of amala with water…hahaha! Wonderfully wicked SOH

  5. Frankices says:

    LMLAO!!! “Amaladeolaaa”? How do u come up with this? I laffed till my stomach hurt. (y)

    P.S. Yes. Its been almost a year n I’m just commenting. ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

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