Rattling Random Rubbish

*covers nose while I dust cobweb* cough cough..*removes scarf from head & shakes hair out*

Hello Everyone, my blog is that dusty…been extremely lazy. If you’re privileged to hold and press my blackberry smartphone and then extra-privileged & favoured to go to my Memos list, you’ll see half-written posts. Something just comes up when I’m writing; its either my brain freezes at -2•C (this happens most times even when I’m under that thing i used to call sun) or that guy i really like pings me (rainbow blushes).

Speaking of the sun, people of the world specifically the Einsteins and Soyinkas, this is an SOS. The heat the sun in Nigeria is emitting nowadays requires a big URGENT sign! All the front hair i have been saving for my wedding day so my already obvious opon(forehead) won’t be extra-ordinary has been burnt by this sun look-alike!

I went out earlier in the week with one of these strapless bras that have detachable rubber arms and this “sun” melted the arms of my bra! It was until my bra got to my waist that i noticed! I shit u not! And u expect girls to be smiling…so our teeth can all burn out and be like that guy i met while jogging on Saturday? NO! THANK YOU!!!! Girls Will Not Smile (GWNS).

About that guy (oya fix your antenna-like ears), i won’t tell you people much about him because he’s probably going to be the first person to read this. The thing is i like him sha and we talk a lot on bbm…all you guys on my bbm should not start getting funny ideas & be thinking its you just cus we chatted last week! Hmmm…you know the thing about this guy? I don’t think I can date him. My life has never been this complicated and I’m blaming it on the sun! Its burning my heart out (rolls eyes).

Sorry, i can’t give you reasons why i can’t date him cus then he’ll know its him. Hahahaha! No, its not U! I knew outright i wouldn’t date you, just gave u that silly reason…buhahaha!

Ehen, my birthday is in 27 days-april 26 and I’m gon be 22 years old! What’s 25 minus 22? 3 abi? Kai! I’m getting old *brings out mirror and checks face for wrinkles*. My mum unconsciously brought me up with the mind that when a woman clocks 25, she should be getting ready to start a family! I’m scared mehn..me that i don’t even have a boyfriend now & the sun is giving me love complications! SMH!

Mum keeps calling & asking me ‘Deola ijo wo ni birthday e yen na?’ (Meaning-when is that your birthday sef?). I’m just chilling patiently for her to call me late like she did last year (5:20pm) and she will see the real me unleashed. I’ll start by doing a maternity test since my brother once joked that i look like one of our first housemaids. I’ll then proceed to broadcast the result of the test on bbm (I’ll compose it like one of those really long and stupid stories one of my readers send to me), blog about it & then tweet excessively!

Back to marriage issues, my mum called me the last time i went home to talk to me about how I should be grooming myself & be more responsible now that I’m getting older! I rolled my eyes so tey one of them told me to listen or it will stop working! I’ve started being more responsible sha…like now, i dnt typ lyk dis again cus I’m a respnsibl gurl. I type in full. I do kegel exercise every time I go to urinate (Notice i didn’t say weewee? Responsibility babayyyy). I discuss politics…like how black Shekarau is and how fat Dame is (i even have all her VoiceNotes, deleted Chi-gurl’s…RESPONSIBILITY!!!). Like now, the 3 girls beside me in this eatery are taking a combination of fried rice, maltina and ice cream! I would have snapped a picture to show my bestie on a good day but immediately i wanted to, i remembered a married woman would never do that! I am part of the R. E. S. P. O. N. S. I. B. L. E. citizens of Nigeria…so na to just cross leg and wait for that 6’1′, dark, trim (not too much muscles like Hulk Hogan- heard he’s even gay…i pity his mother), good/average-looking, no mouth or body odour amongst all things to just come and whisk this responsible lady away when I’m done with this Medicine I’m studying.

My battery is low! I duff my heart (sorry…hat).

XOXO

*opens 3rd bottle of Star* cheers to responsibility!

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Comments
11 Responses to “Rattling Random Rubbish”
  1. Luciano says:

    Good good. Your posts even seem more responsible. Lol

  2. Mariam says:

    i laughed all through this article….this is rilly nice

  3. Deola says:

    Thank U Luciano; Thank U Mariam. :*

  4. Cassbaba noni says:

    Hmmm….. I think I know who the guy is. But anyhow sha, I like the part where the bra fell off to your waist…. And the eyes rolling till one spoke to you. Nice, nice, nice!!! Come to think of it, I have a blog too! Mehn, can you just help a nigga and borrow me a post just to let my account not expire… Na beg I de beg…. Atleast one of those drafts will do…. Hehehe. Abeg gimme your pin. I think I’m drunk sef…. #okbye

  5. DjBee says:

    Hmmmmm i wonder who this guy is that got u all responsible.

  6. tipteey! says:

    Rotfl! U got me coughing wv laughter! Nice!

  7. eeD says:

    U just spoilt a mad blog with the 6’1 requirement… psheeeew……

  8. Deola says:

    @cassbaba…hehehe. Thank U. You are stessed,have this cup of cold water \_/. :p
    @DeejayBee…the picture of the guy shall be revealed to you in a dream…wonder less…lol
    @tipteey…thank U darling!
    @eeD…hmmm..that 6’1′ is like my cliche…I’m flexible 😉

  9. DjBee says:

    Hahahahahahahahahaha still waiting though

  10. raihanah says:

    As a writer.. A blogger… A medstudt… A half yoruba girl..and wierd isn’t it?- a person with crazy thots all typed halfway in her Bb memos- I totally relate… This is hilarious… :)… I like.. I will follow u on twitter now now sef!

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