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February 14.

Dear Mr. Valentine, After much deliberation, our association has decided that we need to write you this letter as the “celebration” of your death torments us every year. For us ASCAW (Association of Side Chicks Around the World), February 14 is marked as a “black day”. Nothing good ever happens that day…well, except the fact … Continue reading

Sub City.

SUB CITY. Try pronouncing this with an American accent…what is your answer? Yeah! That’s what I want to blog about. *strips naked and carries placard to Aso Rock*. A debate that aired yesterday caused some sort of uproar on twitter and words like abroad, chance, corrupt, patient and subsidy were used a lot. I won’t … Continue reading

The Short Story.

Click. That was the imaginary sound he heard in his head whenever he centralized his butt on the toilet seat. The click sound was produced because his anus was directly pointing to the center of the toilet bowl such that if there was a dart board in the bowl and he poo’ed, the poo wouldn’t … Continue reading


This is a very impromptu post. I just had to write something. 2011 has been a generally bleh year for me…the type that you just want to roll by quickly so that you would feel the ‘fresh air’ you feel the next year would bring. One of the reasons I really am not as excited … Continue reading

Dear Diary: My Confession (Part 3)

We moved to a new 2-bedroom apartment about 3 months after Honorable first bought corn from us. He & Mama became good friends and he came to our house a lot, and at any time too. Afterall, he paid for the apartment. One day, Mama told me Honorable was coming to visit us but she … Continue reading

Dear Diary: My Confession (Part 2)

Mama said “Orimisan, things are still very difficult”. She only called me Orimisan when I was in trouble, so my hatred for the name is understandable. I despised being called Ori more because of the memories the name carries. I shouldn’t get ahead of myself now. Many things happened between then and now. She signaled … Continue reading

Dear Diary: My Confession (Part 1)

Dear Diary, I had a good childhood. Don’t get me wrong please! The word “good” is relative. My childhood was superb if you compare it with what I went through some years before now. I never knew my dad. My mother never mentioned his name. I knew very early in life not to ask questions … Continue reading

My Notes: Uncle Mike.

Dear Uncle Mike, How are you? Are you back to Ghana? I sincerely hope you are because I am still mad at you. Mad enough to put you as the second recipient of my letter series. Before I go on, I want to thank you for being my teacher in primary school. I have a … Continue reading

Miss Influenza

I am sick. Ok…scratch that…I’m not sick, I have cattarh. I’m not like those oyinbos that would stay indoors because they have “the flu”…they will now lie in bed with their red faces like its more than cattarh. NO!!!! In my house, you are only sick when you have malaria. That’s it!!! You can’t stay … Continue reading

Dear Diary.

I cast out every spirit of 2 posts per month in my life in Jesus’ name. Kiloderm?! Anyway, I got something for y’all before August gallops off…enjoy… ************************************************** Dear Diary, He hit me again today. I saw an entirely different colour of stars; the colour was a mix of peach and red- they were so … Continue reading